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| I saw me in this girl |
I have no idea why do I feel restless tonight... maybe it is because of I knew tonight is my last night at home and tomorrow will start the day which I always wish that it won't happen (again).... I don't have even the slightest clue why do I feel reluctant to go back to hostel... does everybody face the same? I just wanna stay at home... my home is the only place where I feel out of harm's way... but no body can get it....
or maybe I knew that after this I can't keep in touch with my friends anymore? Umi Aisyah is the only person who I trust to keep all my secrets and the only person whom I feel easy to lend her ears.... Hafizan Hakimin,, always there whenever I need him... keeps motivate me and perk me up when the rain is about to fall...when can I meet these two person again? after SPM?
I wanna them to know that wherever I go,, their names are always in my mind...how I miss our good times together and how I wish that we can have another good times...I used to cry after them when I miss them damn much...and I don't feel it is a huge waste to let all my tears fall just because of them...
no matter how long I write to let people what I'm feeling at the moment, to let people know how I hate being sent to boarding school, how I hate to say goodbye to my parents, how hard I'm trying to strike against my parents,, it still cannot change the situation...
Umi and Hafizan told me to have patience...I've been patience for a year and now should I be patience for another one year? I'm suffered enough...I wanna end all this misery...but I can't...it feels like
I'm dying inside...
every time I stepped into the hostel compound,, automatically I turned into a zombie...been a body without soul...I went through my days as a boarder aimlessly...had no idea where to go, what to achieve...I just did as told...and I'll always be like that...
well,,I think it is enough for today...this blog will be updated ..... urm..... I don't know....just wait for the new entry...
love,
luminouslova
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