Late night thought

I found it hard to search for someone who can love you truly, sincerely. Someone who can accept you as you are, your flaws. Someone who thinks you are lovable even when they had saw you during your worst time. Someone who still wanna be with you even you are at your lowest point.

And I'm still figuring out if there is someone who can accept me as I am. Accept all my flaws. Idk. Sometimes my flaws can be a big deal to everyone. I'm clumsy, I'm forgetful, I'm childish, I'm immature. They can't accept that. They can't even accept my physical. Yeah sape je nak perempuan pendek ni. Dah la tak berapa cerah. Muka macam macam budak. Leulssssss.........

And if you can find one, please do your best to keep him/her. You might not find another. Do your full effort to make them happy, cherish them, appreciate them. AND DON'T EVER LET THEM GO.

Goodnight <3 p="">

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Am so fucked up

Fighting with emotion is damn tiring. It's like you are on a battle but your opponent is something that can't be seen. Abstract. I lose appetite and consequently lose weight just because of I can't control my emotion. I shouldn't let my emotion be in my way. It makes me lose myself. I'm so stressed out, so fucked up. I can't even focus during classes. I don't talk too much. I can't enjoy my day. I keep counting sheep at nights too. There's too many things in my mind, I overthink. And I keep crying every single night. I feel like there's no one cares of me, nobody loves me. I push everyone away. I keep my distance from everyone. I feel useless. I'm so down. So blue. I get mood swing. I get over-sensitive. I easily get annoyed with almost everything. I need help =(

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Insecurities

One side of me feels good with myself, in love with myself, way too confidence with myself, not feeling insecure at all. Yup I'm pretty and cute in my own way. I don't even mind to go out with bare face.

Another side of me feels like I'm the ugliest person ever exist on earth. Sometimes I wonder why did I exist to be ugly. Why can't I be effortlessly beautiful like the others. Life would be much easier that way.

And,
How I wish to have a full table of makeup sets. So that I can be more beautiful. Leulss. Walaweyh insecure sampai rasa nak beli makeup weyh. Padahal selama ni rajin beli lipstick je sebab bibir pucat. Hahah

me wearing shawl with heavy make up

me wearing tudung bawal with heavy make up

me with light make up

my naked face 😂😂

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#TipsMommyNadh

The easiest way to put the babies on a sleep is by letting them play around and getting tired by themselves. They'll fall asleep by themselves. Sometimes you don't even have to put much effort to put them on a sleep.

The hardest part is when they are already tired and sleepy and they don't wanna go to sleep but throwing tantrum instead. You gotta calm them down and calm yourself too :')

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Missing

Self confidence aku lately ni rendah betul. Rasa rendah diri tu lagi rendah dari diri aku sendiri. Idk why. Idk what makes me feel this way. I even feel insecure. With almost everyone. Aku tak pernah pun rasa insecure sebelum ni unless kalau nampak pondan lawa. Sekarang ni rasa tak lawa sangat, rasa macam aku tak penting sangat, rasa aku tak bernilai sangat, rasa macam aku ni tak patut wujud. Entahlah kenapa.

Scroll timeline twitter, instagram then nampak perempuan lawa automatic aku jadik stress. Padahal sebelum ni aku adore perempuan cantik. I even changed my whatsapp profile picture. Aku letak gambar tengkorak. Then pakwe aku tanya kenapa letak gambar tengkorak. Aku jawab tengkorak tu lagi lawa daripada aku. Dia iya kan. Lagi laaaa aku rasa tak lawa :((((((

Twitcon dengan instagram profile picture pun aku tukar. Letak gambar aku dari belakang so that tak nampak muka. Weyh nampak dress kembang kembang kat twitter pun aku macam "bila lah aku nak tinggi, boleh pakai dress kembang cenggitu" "sedihnya jadik pendek" "kalau aku pakai dress macam tu mesti nampak buruk gila". Lagi tambah insecure bila pakwe aku tweet "sneakers user is bae". Aku pendek woiii, takkan nak jalan dengan dia pakai sneakers. Aku pakai sneakers time pegi kelas, time jalan dengan kawan kawan  je. Tak pernah pakai sneakers depan dia. Pakai mekap pun aku taknak sekarang sebab fikir aku ni pakai mekap ke tak pakai mekap ke mesti muka nampak buruk jugakk.

WHY NADH WHYYYY

Pakwe aku pun aku selalu halau dia. Told him to do other things other than texting me. Sebab rasa macam aku ni tak penting pun kalau nak compare dengan benda lain, macam kawan dia, family dia, dota, etc. Bukan dia yang buat aku rasa macam tu, aku sendiri yang tak memasal rasa macam tu. Rasa macam aku ni selalu buat dia stress, pening, susahkan hidup dia. Video call dengan dia pun aku taknak sebab rasa macam muka aku buruk gila, tak selfie pastu send kat dia macam selalu. Sebab aku rasa muka aku buruk gila, malu nak tunjuk kat dia. Leullsss. Pastu sedih sendiri because I really crave for his attention. Padahal aku yang halau dia. Leulsssss lagi sekali......

Dulu, muka aku mengelupas pun aku still ada very high confidence level. Tak rasa malu pun nak keluar. Aku tak tahu la aku punya rasa yakin tu tercicir kat mana. Tetiba je takde. POOF!! Hilang. Rasa rendah diri, tak yakin tu sampai rasa macam aku ni tak wujud pun takpe. Kenapa eh?

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The Master Key

Hi there,

How are you? Hope you're doing fine and being happy with your loved ones.

So here I have something to share with you guys. Something that I learned. I just learned actually. But maybe it sounds lame and boring to you guys lol

It's about COMMUNICATION.

Being in relationship makes me realize that communication is everything, regardless the feeling that we both share. Loving someone, being in relationship with them is useless without communication. Even your very first step to get to know him/her needs communication. You confess your feelings to them needs communication. You want them to be your partner needs communication. You need to speak and it is a communication.

It become more and more important when you both started to be serious. Don't just keep everything to yourself. You got problem, tell your partner then. Don't just act differently and expect them to understand you. You don't feel good with them, tell them. You need to discuss something with them, go on then. You want them to treat you the way you want, tell them. You want them to buy fancy clothes for you, ask for it. Don't just giving hint or keeping it to yourself. It won't work. Some people are born not to be understanding.

Communication is always the key to everything. Key to happiness. Key to have a good life. Key to joy and peace. Not using it will only lead you to misery.

Lacking of communication can actually ruins your relationship. You both get misunderstood, you don't make things clear, your partner become overthinking, they create something that don't even exist, you fight with them and eventually ........... .

Well, communication not just important in relationship, but in everything. Friendship, family, partnership, grouping, etc. Don't make the ship wrecked.

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