Shawl Tutorial

So I'd been asked how to style my shawl like this

So here's a tutorial.

Basically, this is my very first video. There might be some flaws in that video, so I'm sorry. And regarding that video too, if you like to leave some comment, do leave it here in the comment section or maybe you can DM via my twitter account or instagram ( @_nadhirahfatin ) or directly text me if you got my number. Lol

And I'm not going to upload this video at my social media. It's kind embarrassing actually that I have to wait for time when no one at home. Lol.

And if you actually enjoy reading my blog, and watching my video, THANKS A LOT. I LOVE YOU GUYSS. MUAHH CIKEDD 💋 💋 

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#TipsNanadh

So let's talk about moving on shall we?

Idk what move on actually is. But there are a few things that you can do (what I do and it works) to stop crying after that guy/girl.

1. I am a Muslim. So I recited Yasin, praying so that Allah removes that feeling towards him. Doing so makes me feel calm.

2. I accept the fact that our path didn't cross each other anymore. Maybe his presence just to give some experience, some life lessons. Maybe he weren't meant to stay in life forever.

3. I have flaws. Maybe I'm not the perfect one, not what he wants. So yeah gotta let him go though. He deserves someone better than me.

4. I still have a longggg wayyyyy to go. I believe that I'll discover new person, making some new memories with that new person. And just like him, that new person maybe would leave me too. It's a part of growing up I guess. But don't worry there's always a hope. I'll meet the right guy eventually.

5. I love him because I thought he love(d) me. Turns out it is all just a lie. So yeah there's no reason to love him anymore.

6. Whenever I started to feel sad, I'll recite al Fatihah and ayatul Qursi. Those sad feelings are just bisikan syaitonirojim.

7. That guy is a whole new one. He's no longer the one that I used to know. So to me, he's just a stranger. I treat him like a friend now.

Nevertheless, NEVER EVER FIND ANOTHER GUY/GIRL JUST TO FORGET YOUR EX. Don't break others heart just because yours had been broken. Don't use other people just to wash away your sadness, your loneliness. Do your own recovery. Make yourself happy. Goodluck !!

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Midnight Thought: Picket White Fence

When you do something sincerely, every single day, it will become your nature. And you just can't stop doing it even when things change. Cause it has been a part of your life, a part of yourself precisely. Not doing it makes your life incomplete.

I'm still wondering about him. What did he do, where were him. And no, this is ain't love. It is a habit. Checking on him is my hobby. I don't feel the same anymore. But still I wanna know how he's doing. Cause I can't find the reason of not doing it. It is sincerity that leads me to do those things, not love.

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Late night thought

I found it hard to search for someone who can love you truly, sincerely. Someone who can accept you as you are, your flaws. Someone who thinks you are lovable even when they had saw you during your worst time. Someone who still wanna be with you even you are at your lowest point.

And I'm still figuring out if there is someone who can accept me as I am. Accept all my flaws. Idk. Sometimes my flaws can be a big deal to everyone. I'm clumsy, I'm forgetful, I'm childish, I'm immature. They can't accept that. They can't even accept my physical. Yeah sape je nak perempuan pendek ni. Dah la tak berapa cerah. Muka macam macam budak. Leulssssss.........

And if you can find one, please do your best to keep him/her. You might not find another. Do your full effort to make them happy, cherish them, appreciate them. AND DON'T EVER LET THEM GO.

Goodnight <3 p="">

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Am so fucked up

Fighting with emotion is damn tiring. It's like you are on a battle but your opponent is something that can't be seen. Abstract. I lose appetite and consequently lose weight just because of I can't control my emotion. I shouldn't let my emotion be in my way. It makes me lose myself. I'm so stressed out, so fucked up. I can't even focus during classes. I don't talk too much. I can't enjoy my day. I keep counting sheep at nights too. There's too many things in my mind, I overthink. And I keep crying every single night. I feel like there's no one cares of me, nobody loves me. I push everyone away. I keep my distance from everyone. I feel useless. I'm so down. So blue. I get mood swing. I get over-sensitive. I easily get annoyed with almost everything. I need help =(

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Insecurities

One side of me feels good with myself, in love with myself, way too confidence with myself, not feeling insecure at all. Yup I'm pretty and cute in my own way. I don't even mind to go out with bare face.

Another side of me feels like I'm the ugliest person ever exist on earth. Sometimes I wonder why did I exist to be ugly. Why can't I be effortlessly beautiful like the others. Life would be much easier that way.

And,
How I wish to have a full table of makeup sets. So that I can be more beautiful. Leulss. Walaweyh insecure sampai rasa nak beli makeup weyh. Padahal selama ni rajin beli lipstick je sebab bibir pucat. Hahah

me wearing shawl with heavy make up

me wearing tudung bawal with heavy make up

me with light make up

my naked face 😂😂

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#TipsMommyNadh

The easiest way to put the babies on a sleep is by letting them play around and getting tired by themselves. They'll fall asleep by themselves. Sometimes you don't even have to put much effort to put them on a sleep.

The hardest part is when they are already tired and sleepy and they don't wanna go to sleep but throwing tantrum instead. You gotta calm them down and calm yourself too :')

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Missing

Self confidence aku lately ni rendah betul. Rasa rendah diri tu lagi rendah dari diri aku sendiri. Idk why. Idk what makes me feel this way. I even feel insecure. With almost everyone. Aku tak pernah pun rasa insecure sebelum ni unless kalau nampak pondan lawa. Sekarang ni rasa tak lawa sangat, rasa macam aku tak penting sangat, rasa aku tak bernilai sangat, rasa macam aku ni tak patut wujud. Entahlah kenapa.

Scroll timeline twitter, instagram then nampak perempuan lawa automatic aku jadik stress. Padahal sebelum ni aku adore perempuan cantik. I even changed my whatsapp profile picture. Aku letak gambar tengkorak. Then pakwe aku tanya kenapa letak gambar tengkorak. Aku jawab tengkorak tu lagi lawa daripada aku. Dia iya kan. Lagi laaaa aku rasa tak lawa :((((((

Twitcon dengan instagram profile picture pun aku tukar. Letak gambar aku dari belakang so that tak nampak muka. Weyh nampak dress kembang kembang kat twitter pun aku macam "bila lah aku nak tinggi, boleh pakai dress kembang cenggitu" "sedihnya jadik pendek" "kalau aku pakai dress macam tu mesti nampak buruk gila". Lagi tambah insecure bila pakwe aku tweet "sneakers user is bae". Aku pendek woiii, takkan nak jalan dengan dia pakai sneakers. Aku pakai sneakers time pegi kelas, time jalan dengan kawan kawan  je. Tak pernah pakai sneakers depan dia. Pakai mekap pun aku taknak sekarang sebab fikir aku ni pakai mekap ke tak pakai mekap ke mesti muka nampak buruk jugakk.

WHY NADH WHYYYY

Pakwe aku pun aku selalu halau dia. Told him to do other things other than texting me. Sebab rasa macam aku ni tak penting pun kalau nak compare dengan benda lain, macam kawan dia, family dia, dota, etc. Bukan dia yang buat aku rasa macam tu, aku sendiri yang tak memasal rasa macam tu. Rasa macam aku ni selalu buat dia stress, pening, susahkan hidup dia. Video call dengan dia pun aku taknak sebab rasa macam muka aku buruk gila, tak selfie pastu send kat dia macam selalu. Sebab aku rasa muka aku buruk gila, malu nak tunjuk kat dia. Leullsss. Pastu sedih sendiri because I really crave for his attention. Padahal aku yang halau dia. Leulsssss lagi sekali......

Dulu, muka aku mengelupas pun aku still ada very high confidence level. Tak rasa malu pun nak keluar. Aku tak tahu la aku punya rasa yakin tu tercicir kat mana. Tetiba je takde. POOF!! Hilang. Rasa rendah diri, tak yakin tu sampai rasa macam aku ni tak wujud pun takpe. Kenapa eh?

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The Master Key

Hi there,

How are you? Hope you're doing fine and being happy with your loved ones.

So here I have something to share with you guys. Something that I learned. I just learned actually. But maybe it sounds lame and boring to you guys lol

It's about COMMUNICATION.

Being in relationship makes me realize that communication is everything, regardless the feeling that we both share. Loving someone, being in relationship with them is useless without communication. Even your very first step to get to know him/her needs communication. You confess your feelings to them needs communication. You want them to be your partner needs communication. You need to speak and it is a communication.

It become more and more important when you both started to be serious. Don't just keep everything to yourself. You got problem, tell your partner then. Don't just act differently and expect them to understand you. You don't feel good with them, tell them. You need to discuss something with them, go on then. You want them to treat you the way you want, tell them. You want them to buy fancy clothes for you, ask for it. Don't just giving hint or keeping it to yourself. It won't work. Some people are born not to be understanding.

Communication is always the key to everything. Key to happiness. Key to have a good life. Key to joy and peace. Not using it will only lead you to misery.

Lacking of communication can actually ruins your relationship. You both get misunderstood, you don't make things clear, your partner become overthinking, they create something that don't even exist, you fight with them and eventually ........... .

Well, communication not just important in relationship, but in everything. Friendship, family, partnership, grouping, etc. Don't make the ship wrecked.

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A penny

We, human, we don't know everything. Accept the fact and keep learning instead of buat-buat tahu which end up you got everything screwed up.

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Am I still a little girl to them?

I wonder what do my mom and dad felt to have their daughter grown-up. I've started to bring my own car to the class, I live at the rented house, I cook my own dish, settle my own laundry, have boyfriend bla bla bla.

Or do they still think that I'm still a little girl ( but physically, yes 😂😂)

Well I don't get the freedom that the grown-up got. They're still making decision for me. Do this, don't do that. Once, my teacher joked "Tak lama kak liza (my mom) dapat menantu la" and my mom went "Ehhh jangan jangan. Dia belum habis belajar lagi" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Whatever it is, I'm still hoping that I didn't grow up. Sometimes I really wanna go back to the old times, when I still lived with them, being sent to school by my dad and later in the afternoon my mom came to pick me up. I miss the moment when I wanted to go anywhere and the drove me there instead of driving of my own [I even go to the clinic by myself :') ] , I miss the moment when I look cute every time I got attitude, (I'm 21 now and acting like that makes me feel awful agagagaga).

And I miss my mom and dad way too much

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sigh

I'm trying to be better everyday. But Idk what do you actually want. I always feel that I'm never good enough for you. Idk what else to do. Kinda break my heart to know that you are being paranoid with me. And I'm actually sad to know that all this time you choose your ego over me. Who am I to you then? Should I stay or just walk away?

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Midnight Thought

Don't dwell on past. It is only gonna hurt you and everyone around you. Go and get some times to get over the past. And leave it where it belongs. In the past.

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A Cute Thing About Your Partner

I think it is cute to have a partner who remembers everything about your relationship like how you both know each other, when is your first met, what color of your scarf that day, when was the first time he/she confessed, when did you guys get married, how did you look on that day.

And it is much cuter when he/she remembers every single detail about you. Like what is your dream car, your favorite color, your phobias, your childhood stories, your comfort outfit even though you only tell them about it once and they seems not to pay attention but they actually did and they remember it.

I'm not gonna be that cute partner I guess. Sometimes I forgot my boyfriend's age. Bhahahaha.

I might forget those things. I'm gonna even forget our anniversary. Pity you baby to have a forgetful wife like me.



[I'm being cringy lately. Sorry]

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My Dream Wedding

Hi peeps. It is good to see you again. It's been awhile I didn't write here omg I feel bad. Been lacking of idea but don't worry here I am gain to share my 20 cents (sorta)

So last weekend I went to a wedding ceremony on behalf of my parents since they were not in town on that day. I don't get this opportunity often since my parents always wanted me to stay at home babysitting my little brothers while they go out socializing lol so this content may be common to you but kinda bizarre to me lol ( sorry my lol usage goes outta control )

What can I tell you about the ceremony is, it was so simple. As if there's no ceremony at all. There was only two canopies which were set up on the house yard, tak halang laluan jalan. There's no pelamin. They just set up a swing which was hung at a tree and decorate it with some fake flowers. There's no karaoke, no songs played out loud, no photographer, no professional make up artist etc.

Our family's open house is far merrier that the wedding ceremony. Well I guess maybe it was because it is majlis sambut menantu, and the son is not the first child so no need meriah sangat.

And the invitation card, they just photocopied it on A4 papers and cut them into three. And there's no envelope. More like a flyer.

Well it's actually my dream wedding. I want my wedding ceremony to be exactly like that. There just a few things which need to be done, not time consuming, money saving, and most important thing is it don't cause headache.

Don't need pelamin because I don't want to bersanding. No need karaoke, DJ or something. I don't want them to play songs out loud. Those things are only gonna mess up my head. No need a lot of canopies, no need to cause traffic jam. I don't want people who pass by curse me on my wedding day. And the invitation card, I think there would be no invitation card. I'll share my house location via whatsapp lol just kidding. But I'll make it as simple as it can be. Yelaa nanti orang buang jugakk, so it is so wasteful to have a fancy invitation card.

But yeah photographer is a must. Cause I want everything that happened on that day to be photographed.

I would like to have the solemnization and reception on the same day. So prepare baju kawin sepasang je, takyah tukar tukar, Pakai je that baju from majlis nikah sampai habis majlis makan makan tu. And I really want to wear kebaya on my wedding day. I don't go for fancy dress, gown kembang. I'll look like a moving mushroom. And my husband would wear baju melayu, sampin, keris and tanjak instead of suit and tie (even though guy who wears suit and tie catches my eyes)

We'll have a traditional wedding ceremony on that day. A ceremony yang macam orang dulu dulu buat. Sebelum semua orang start menunjuk nunjuk nak buat majlis meriah, sewa dewan bagai. Lol.

And I would like to pay everything on my own. Taknak sedara sponsor, taknak parents sponsor, taknak mintak duit husband (I don't even want hantaran) [takpe biy you boleh simpan duit tu buat beli barang dapur lepas kawin. Bini you ni suka makan hiks]

Tapi tu majlis belah Nadh la. Majlis belah husband buat style dream wedding dia.

Actually, belum kemaruk nak kawin pun. I still have many goals which need to be achieved before I get married. Tapi if one day da sampai masa nak berlaki, Nadh nak buat majlis simple cenggitu. Hoping that I'll get the chance to get married, to be a bride, to have my dream wedding come true,and most important thing is to get married with the love of my life. hiks.

Love,,


(ps: sorry there's no picture that this entry is like a boring article)

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CSR Volunteering at Zoo Melaka

So I did something that is very interesting today. The most interesting thing than anything else.

I joined the CSR Volunteering event at the Zoo Melaka and it is way more fun than I ever imagine. We cleaned up the animals cage, got rid their poos, cleared up the dry leaves and everything. People would say "ewww so gross, cleaning animal's poo" and whatsoever. But yeah I find it interesting. I won't mind to do it everyday. Yep I'm changing my ambition for 3984838474th times. I wanna be a zookeeper now.

Okay enough with that.

We got the chance to feed animal, and it's way too amazing. And I was chosen to be a volunteer during the birds show. I had to open my arms wide then the zookeeper put some birds' food on my palm. Then there's two bird came to eat those foods on my palm. They were kakak tua. Damn the feather is so fluffy that I felt like patting it. I wanted to bring them home too. Then there's flamingo dancing omg just like a professional dancer. They danced beautifully and gracefully.

What amazed me very much is there's a bird, (IDK what's the species all I know is it is a bird with colorful feathers) which can answer some simple math question and can spell. I think that bird goes to school 😂😂😂  All the CSR participant got the chances to take pictures with all the show birds for free. That's cool for sure.

I learned a few things about birds today. The zookeeper there said that taking care a bird is like taking care a girlfriend. It is so emotional and sensitive and full of envy. Once you pat a bird, you gotta pat all the birds. Otherwise the rest of them will get jealous and mad. Awwww so cute meh. And the birds' poos indicate whether the birds are in shape or not (you might don't wanna know bhaahhaahha)

Then there's come to my favorite part. After the CSR is over we were allowed to stroll around the zoo. I've been longing for that moment as I always wanted to go to the zoo. Yup I'm old school.

Well there's nothing bizarre actually at the Zoo Melaka. Just the common animal. But yeah I was super excited to see those animals. I love animals. (except cat, they're rather scary). I found that there's seven species of deer there and there's 55 of them altogether. What a huge amount (because we can't simply find one at the roadside)

Besides the kakak tua, I got the chances to feed elephant too. Except this time I had to pay five ringgit. It worth it for an experience though. The baby elephant is way too cute that I feel like petting it 😬😬😬 I always want to pet elephant, tiger and an owl. They all are so damn cute. And I saw all of them today. God I had so much fun (otherwise I won't write about it in my blog) . 

So here's some of the picture that I took at the zoo. 

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It doesn't fit

I've been living a sad life this past few weeks. It feels like the whole world is against me. Or is it me against them? idk. I suddenly stop talking to everyone. It is sick to death y'know. It is sick to not talking to everyone, to keep everything by your own. It does. And it is killing me. I feeling skipping this part and move to another part of my life where it could be much happier.

Society sucks. Or precisely, my social life is suck. I always don't get well with people. I tried to fit in, tried to mingle around but yeah you know, when people keep showing and making it obvious that they don't like you, you gotta walk away somehow. So that is what I did. I walked away from my housemates. I push them away. I stop talking to them, I stop cooking for them (they never like it anyway). I locked myself in my room all day long. And it is sucks. Cause I always love them. Even sometimes they been bitter to me. 

I NEED A FRIEND

Well sometimes I get envy with those people who got friend for life. Someone that they can stick up to. Someone that hear your make stupid jokes and laugh at it. Someone that you can share about how was you day going.

But yeah, reminiscing my past when I always end up pushing people away, I think that I better shouldn't have ones. It's bad to have temporary friends. I'm done with those "people come and go" things. They keep leaving empty space in my life. There's hole everywhere. 

My biggest problem is I don't always fit in. Imma weirdo. And kinda sensitive too. I take people jokes way to seriously. I even cry when they call me names. And I always end up walking away from people.

In whole life, based on what I observed, I can't be too close with a friend. I'll ended up stop talking to them, walking away from them, and eventually we become strangers. I'll give you a name. It's Umi Aisyah. I wonder where's she now, what's she doing, how was her life. It's been a while since we both talk. She was the one who avoiding me first. Then I guess she didn't wanna be friend with me anymore. So I walked away. And there's another one. Syamimi Zakaria. We used to be best buddy during our first semester here. Now we ended like a stranger. It is all because she got a new friend.

Then my roommate, Firuz Farhana. Idk what happened actually but suddenly we stop talking. And she's still my roommate. I haven't talk to her like for months already. I always hate her being so judgmental and paranoid. She judges me by my tweets. And I guess she still do. But then I had Syafika Najihah and Kua Ning Way which we ended up the same too. Ika was mad at me cause I accidentally picked her wet laundry, and since that day she started slamming the door, stamping her feet etc which makes my sensitive heart cried actually. I felt guilty for making her mad that I stop talking to her. Ning Way, Idk how it happens actually.

And yeah I almost forgot about my friends in matrik. Well the stories are the same. First we'd been so close, then  we stop talking then we become stranger.

Well, I don't blame them. It is all my fault, I don't fit in, like I said. My social life is suffer since I was small.

Nevertheless, I'm grateful to have that one guy that still be friend with me for years now. It's Hafizan Hakimin. But he's not here. And I often feel lonely. And I miss him sometimes. He's the only friend that I can tell almost everything, that I can be myself with, that get my stupid jokes. And I hope we don't end up like me with the others too. It is way too scary to imagine...

And also, I have Adibah who always be there for me whenever I'm down. She senses it through my tweets and always asks me whether I'm okay or not. Talking to her is so relieving. It's like having a sister.

Well people said, "count your blessings, not your problem". I'm grateful to have those people that I don't get along well so that I can appreciate the people that stick together with me. I'm glad that out of those problem, I'm still able to look at the bright side.

And hey look, I still got flowers blossom around my head

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