Don't wanna pour the gasoline

So I've been facing some crisis this whole. Yup it's been prolonged for over a year. Or maybe longer. I can't recall lol. It's just a small misunderstood though but yeah you know when you got issues with girls, no matter how small the matter is, it's still as big as a mountain. We make a mountain out of a molehill #typicalgirls

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And certain people be like - they started first, you should do something don't just do nothing and keep quiet. They say I'm too kind

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Well, no, I don't want to. Yup, they're obviously tryna pick a fight. But I don't wanna get into the fight. Letting them fight alone is fun though. They're neither win nor lose yet they keep trying to pick a fight like a dumb. Lol. I swear it's funny. I didn't do nothing, this is what I do, making them look stupid 😆

The thing is,

I don't wanna be like them. They ain't worth my time. Guess I'm rational enough not to waste my time after them.

And I don't wanna exaggerate things. Let it be as it is. I am not a coward or something, I just don't wanna pour the gasoline.

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I can finally breathe

Hey yaa,

It's been five months since my last post. Been coping with so many things lately. My family and I moved into a new house at the end of January, right after I finished my final examination of semester 5. So many things to do back then. Gotta clean the house, babysit the two babies, unpack things, helping my dad with the drilling works etc. And of course, as a typical girl, I got a lot of clothes, scarf, handbags, novels etc etc etc. Life was really tiring back then. And the semester break only lasted for three weeks. I got three weeks to settle up everything.

The new semester started, and it was semester 6. Guess what it means? It means that we had to do our theory part of final year project. Everything is so new to me. Like wth is literature review? How to make an introduction? Methodology? Wth is that? And there's some issues at the very the first start. I had to find the new supervisor since the old one was going to pursue his study. I knew it at the very last minute. How fucked up I was at the moment. Thank God I got to find the one on the same day. The issues were not just that. My fyp title was redundant with my friend. And we're under the same supervisor. I had already made the research about that title. All that efforts had to go down the dumps. So the current supervisor gave me the one title and I had to start all over again. Do some studies, dig the internet etc etc etc. Damn.

Coping with fyp is so tiring, mentally and physically. I don't even have time to pay attention to the other subjects. I lost track. Seriously. My spirit was so down, my social life is suffering, I stopped talking with everyone, I stopped eating, I lose weight (am 32 kgs now. I lose 5 kgs), I lose sleep. I'd been in that condition for months. I don't even have time to breathe.

My stress level rose with the last minute assignment. Sir, not all student do the assignment at the last minute. Why did you do this to me?? It was a deathly semester I swear. Everything, everyone seems to want me dead. And of course the group members who want to do the assignment at the very eleventh hour although the work had been assigned at the early of the semester. Crap!

I should've been paying attention to final examination now instead of coping the assignment. Nevertheless, glad that some of the work had been done and submitted. I can finally breathe now.

Here's an advice:

You are allowed to occupy yourselves with any association, any organization, hold as many positions as you want, but please, do manage your time wisely. You gotta know how to prioritize your task. Don't ever troubled the other group members, waiting for you to finish your task.

Another advice:

Please please please be responsible to your task. Don't simply copy and paste the content directly from the internet or journals etc etc etc and ask the person who compiles the work to rephrase the content. And, there are so many ways to improve your English, please do so. Don't use "aku ni orang kampung je, tak reti sangat bahasa inggeris"  as an excuse. It's lame. You can't just send your work at the very last minute and ask the compiler to proofread and rephrase the content. 

Out of all those issues, I'm grateful that I have a few people around me who lift my spirits up, who hear me whining, who give me support, who spend their time with me so that I can unwind my stress. Thanks a lot to Hafizan who will always wish me luck (although it's already been too late lol hahaha), my sisters who always hear me complaining about my unfortunate life and my parents with their last minute support (I thought they're not going to care, but they did although it was last minute) and endless du'a.

Lastly, I have upcoming stories to share with you guys. I hang up with some of my friends, Dibah, Hafizan and Bawie. I'll write the stories later. GTG, gotta send my brother off to the hostel.

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Its 2018

Hi everyone.

So,
It's new year. New months. New week. New resolution. New chances. New spirit.

I wish all of you achieve all the resolutions that you've made for this years. May those who's been

• wishing to lose weight
• wishing to gain weight (like me)
• wishing to be beautiful
• wishing to be better
• wishing to achieve more victory than the last year
• wishing to change their life
• wishing to leave all of negative vibes, negative habit, negative things
• wishing to be happy
• wishing to make other people happy
• wishing to be kind
• wishing to be helpful
• wishing to be successful
• wishing to live happily ever after with the love of their lives
• wishing to move on

got their wishes come true. My pray goes to all of you. May this year be yours.

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I neither have any resolutions nor wishes. I prefer to go with the flow. (so demotivated) I don't even do any reflections. lol. But yeah, I'm still keeping my pace, doing my very best in everything that I do, still that perfectionist bitch, and still short for sure.

Having resolutions quite stressing actually that I got down the dumps whenever I've failed to achieve it. Idk. It's what I've been thinking. Not having resolutions doesn't mean I don't achieve more. Actually, I'm better without resolutions. I don't set a limit for myself. Well, people are born to be different right. Everyone got their new resolution doesn't mean I gotta have one too. Whatever it is, I wish we all can do better in whatever things that we're working on so that we can achieve our goals. List azam tahun baru panjang berjela tapi takde usaha nak capai azam tu tak guna jugak kan.


So this morning, I've been comparing my life with the others. I'm turning 22 this year. Orang lain umur 22 dah jaga suami meanwhile I umur 22 still jaga adik, main dengan adik adik, bergaduh dengan adik, gallery phone banyak gambar adik, malam tadi sambut tahun baru dengan tidurkan adik, pagi tadi marah adik sebab buat perangai, mandikan adik, adik adik adik and adik. lol. And not to forget, struggling with my degree. Tak tahu mana lagi kesian, muda muda dah kena jaga suami or dah 20++ tapi belum jumpa jodoh. hahah

Nevertheless, those are blessings. Getting married at tender age is blessing. You got to spend more time with your spouse, you got someone to love and someone that loves you. You got a bestfriend and also a homie. You got someone to be taken care of and someone that takes care of you. Someone to give your heart and soul to and someone that gives their heart and soul to you.

Babysitting baby brothers is a blessing to. Everything that happens in our lives is a blessing. Got to pursue my degree is a blessing too. Having my parents around is a blessing too. (Got to spend my dad's money is a super blessing). I'm grateful with what I'm having now. Not to found my soulmate yet is a blessing too. I don't have to make efforts, I don't have to get my heart broken, I don't have to make any commitment with anyone.

Everything seems to have their pros and cons. You just gotta open up your heart.

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